Saturn’s Satan – A monster hurricane with an eye of over 2,000km ..#NASA #Saturn

Nasa spacecraft captures stunning image of a cyclone at Saturn’s North Pole

In an undated in this false-color image from NASA’s Cassini spacecraft and provided by NASA/JPL shows stunning views of a monster hurricane at Saturn’s North Pole. The eye of the cyclone is an enormous 1,250 miles across. That’s 20 times larger than the typical eye of a hurricane here on Earth. The hurricane is believed to have been there for years.This image is among the first sunlit views of Saturn’s north pole captured by Cassini’s imaging cameras. (AP)

Nasa’s Cassini spacecraft has captured stunning views of a monster hurricane at Saturn’s North Pole.

The eye of the cyclone is an enormous 1,250 miles (2,010 kilometers) across. That’s 20 times larger than the typical eye of a hurricane here on Earth. And it’s spinning super-fast. Clouds at the outer edge of the storm are whipping around at 330 mph (531 kph).

The hurricane is parked at Saturn’s North Pole and relies on water vapor to keep it churning. It’s believed to have been there for years. Cassini only recently had a chance to observe the vortex in visible light.

Scientists hope to learn more about Earth’s hurricanes by studying this whopper at Saturn.

Cassini was launched from Cape Canaveral in 1997 and arrived at Saturn in 2004.

Yes, it’s true: Pope Francis has only one lung

The new pope has daunting challenges ahead ranging from the church sex abuse scandal to reinvigorating the flock.

And Pope Francis will have to do it all with just one lung.

The Argentine pontiff lost the greater part of one lung to a teenage infection. “He feels it today,” says his authorized biographer Sergio Rubin. “He’s a little bit slowed by it, but he’s OK.”

Pope Francis’ one lung doesn’t compromise health

Doctors said that losing one lung doesn’t necessarily compromise the Pope Francis’ health or reduce his life span, though it means no strenuous exercise since he no longer has as much air capacity as people with two lungs. “He probably wouldn’t be able to run marathons, but I don’t think that would be on his schedule,” said Dr. Peter Openshaw, director of the Centre for Respiratory Infection at Imperial College London. “Having one lung should be enough as long as there is no other disease in that lung.”

Openshaw didn’t think a papal schedule would be too taxing for Pope Francis’ one lung, though he noted the pope’s rib cage might look slightly unusual. “His X-ray will probably look rather alarming, but understandable once you know he only has one lung,” he said.

Openshaw said Pope Francis’ existing lung would probably have expanded to fill the space left by the missing one, and that his ribcage would have shrunk slightly in size. His diaphragm may also have moved up slightly higher than normal. But none of those changes should affect Francis’ normal activities, he said.

Experts said it would be rare nowadays to remove a lung. Antibiotics would be used to treat most lung infections including tuberculosis, though part of the organ might be removed to treat advanced lung cancer.

Back when Pope Francis had his lung removed, the available antibiotics weren’t as powerful. “In the past, doctors used to try all kinds of strange things to try to treat lung infections,” said Dr. Jennifer Quint, a respiratory expert at London’s School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. She said physicians even used to stick ping pong balls into peoples’ lungs in an attempt to starve the lung of oxygen, to kill the bacteria.

Quint said the fact that Pope Francis appears so fit and healthy at 76 bodes well for his future.

“If he were going to have any major complications from the surgery (to remove the lung), he would have had them by now,” she said. She said Francis’ main challenge will be to keep his remaining lung healthy. “I would recommend a yearly flu vaccination and an occasional pneumonia vaccine to avoid infection,” she said.

Openshaw agreed Pope Francis’ remaining lung should be able to compensate for the missing one, similar to how parts of the brain may pick up functions of other regions damaged by a stroke.

“The other lung can gain capacity but there will be limits,” he said, comparing it to a car engine that now runs slightly slower. “You may not be able to accelerate as hard but it still works just as well.”

Related articles

• Pope Francis’ partial lung shouldn’t present problems unless he gets sick, experts say (cbsnews.com)

Pope Francis’ women, secrets and future as an idol

The stones on which the Obelisco is elevated, the symbol of the city of Buenos Aires, were placed in 1936. That same year, Jorge Bergoglio, Pope Francis I, was born in the district of Flores, to the west of the city. He grew in that Buenos Aires of old with two great passions; the tango golden era and the popular soccer passion of the people.

Pope Francis’ women

General Peron ruled Argentina when Pope Francis, hardly 12 years of age, proposed to Amalia, an attractive youngster friend. The now smiling old lady shared her story with almost all the Argentine media that the romantic boy gave her a drawing with a small house and a note of promise: “This small house is the one that I am going to buy you when we get married. If we don’t get married, I’ll become a priest.” Amalia never answered that proposal, but the young Bergoglio demonstrated his natural determination and conviction. Some years later, when he was 21-years-old, he entered the seminary.

Camila is a lefty militant, atheist and feminist. She fights for women’s rights and reproductive rights and defends the right of women to a legal abortion. Still, she is a dear friend of Pope Francis who warmly nicknamed her the “troska of God”. Camila is very proud of the great respect that she and the new pope profess to each other, from their diametrically opposed positions.

Maria Elena Bergoglio, the pope’s younger sister, revealed that her brother did, in fact, not want to be Pope, as he considered his chance already having passed for two reasons: In the voting of year 2005, he was second after Pope Benedicto XVI and because he had recently turned 75 years-old. Bergoglio was so certain about not becoming Pope that he told Maria Elena his passage to Rome was a roundtrip. The woman explained that she was sorry not to have been able to communicate with her brother even to congratulate him after the announcement. “When you stop calling me and my telephone is no longer occupied, I will do it!” she joked and concluded, “to have a brother Pope is a God blessing.”

Argentine government’s reaction to Pope Francis’ appointment

The appointment of Cardinal Bergoglio as pope caused confusion first and then disdain among different Argentine government spokesmen. On the very same day as Pope Francis’ appointment, diverse notes were published that indicated suspicions of collaboration between military dictatorship. There were even faked photos circling social media in which Bergoglio was supposedly blessing the ex-general Videla. In just a few short hours, diverse personalities of different political affiliation denied such accusations. Among them, the Nobel Peace prize winner, Perez Esquivel and the former member of the Conadep Graciela, Fernandez Meijide.

Future as an idol

Pope Francis retired his luggage this morning from the House of the Clergy, in via Della Scrofa, and, “he paid the account to give good example,” said Father Federico Lombardi, the Vatican spokesman, in his daily meeting with the journalists.

The new pope speaks Spanish and also Italian, as we heard yesterday, German, English and French, and perhaps also Portuguese. Interestingly, the new Pontiff made a phone call, after being chosen, to former Pope Benedicto XVI.

From his past as Archbishop of Buenos Aires, Pope Francisco always had strong opinions and phrases jeopardized with respect to the different aspects of the political and social reality of Argentina. Subjects like the Tragedy of Once, abortion, gay marriage and drug trafficking were part of his homilies directed to the masses that he gave in the Buenosairean Cathedral.

These are some of the more forceful phrases:

• “Human rights are violated not only by terrorism or repression, but also by extreme poverty.”
• “Gay marriage is one devil action.”
• “You can see death sold at the doors of the schools” (talking about drugs)
• “Abortion is never is a solution. We must accompany and understand in order to save the two lives.”
• “There are irresponsible people in charge who did not fulfill their duties.” (Tragedy of Once)
• “God forgive them for what they just did.” (referring to the cardinals who chose him Pope)
• “They came to look for a Pope from the aim of the world”

Pope Francis is Argentine and the Argentineans know very well how to deify their idols. In this case, that is redundant, of course, but already they have found a higher step on the Argentinity podium. It happened today that Pope Francis’s San Lorenzo’s member card (the football team which the Pope is fan of) was the winner in a lottery drawing, and with the rejoicing of many, Francis was chosen as pope the day of Santa Cristina… perhaps destiny is being especially ironic in this case. There are already Pope Francis T-shirts and souvenirs and it would not be unimaginable that tomorrow we might find Pope Francis seated to the right… of Maradona.

Karunanidhi warns of pulling out of UPA over Sri Lanka

DMK chief M Karunanidhi on Friday warned his party will pull out of the UPA government if India does not press for an independent international probe against those responsible for the genocide in Sri Lanka in the US-sponsored resolution in the UNHRC against the island nation.

In a statement issued here late night, Karunanidhi, referring to the US sponsored resolution at the United Nations Human Rights Council (UNHRC), said: “India should take steps to amend the American resolution to include thatt those war criminals responsible for the genocide in Sri Lanka be identified, hold a free international enquiry against them and take time bound appropriate action.”

“If this request is not heeded, it will be meaningless for the DMK to continue in the central government,” he added.

DMK, with 18 members in the Lok Sabha, is a key constituent in the central United Progressive Alliance (UPA) government.

IANS

Related articles

• “Take forward resolution against Sri Lanka” (thehindu.com)
• DMK puts UPA on notice on Sri Lanka resolution (thehindu.com)

Six Indian Women Who Dared to Make a Difference

“The strength of a woman is not measured by the impact that all her hardships in life have had on her; but the strength of a woman is measured by the extent of her refusal to allow those hardships to dictate her and who she becomes,” said author C. JoyBell C. This indeed stands true as being a woman is certainly not easy! A woman toils all day long and she is the one who touches the lives of many with her ways. This Women’s Day its time yet again to honor and appreciate the spirit of womanhood. Here are 6 Indian women activists listed by MSN, who have done their little bit to contribute to the society and dared to be different.

Irom Sharmila

Also known as the “Iron Lady of Manipur”, Irom is a civil rights activist, political activist, and poet from Manipur. Irom has been on a hunger strike since 2 November 2000, to demand that the Indian government repeal the Armed Forces (Special Powers) Act, 1958 (AFSPA), which she blames for violence in Manipur and other parts of northeast India. She has refused food and water for more than 500 weeks, and has been called “the world’s longest hunger striker”.

Recently she was also charged with Section 309 (attempt to commit suicide) of IPC for fasting at Jantar Mantar in Delhi. The courts have used an absurd law in the case and it only makes the matter more baffling. Appearing before the court she said “I am not committing suicide. This is my way of protest. I am protesting by non-violent means,” reported PTI.

Mallika Sarabhai

Mallika is an activist and Indian classical dancer from Ahmedabad. She is the daughter of classical dancer Mrinalini Sarabhai and renowned space scientist Vikram Sarabhai. She is also a talented Kuchipudi and Bharatanatyam dancer. She has received many awards, Padma Bhushan being one of them in 2010.

Mallika says women should change but good men should speak up against the violence and make a change in society. She was quoted by the Hindu, saying, “It is because good men have been silent that these other men have not been shamed. The good men should stand up and publicly tell them that their acts of violence are not a sign of manhood but of cowardice.”

Mallika is also known to have protested against Gujarat Chief Minister, Narendra Modi during Sadbhavna Mission in September, 2011.  She accused Modi of scampering the petition filed in Supreme Court by her on the 2002 Gujarat violence.

Arundhati Roy

This name needs no introduction. Roy is an Indian author and political activist who also won the 1998 Man Booker Prize for Fiction winning novel ‘The God of Small Things’. She is actively involved in environmental and human rights causes. Roy has also been on numerous lists of the most beautiful women in the world.

Roy is a spokesperson of the anti-globalization/alter-globalization movement and a passionate critic of neo-imperialism and of the global policies of the U.S. She also criticizes India’s nuclear weapons policies and the approach to industrialization and swift development as currently being practiced in India, including the Narmada Dam project and the power company Enron’s activities in India.

Roy was once quoted saying “I say I am letting my fame use me. The space for disagreement, not only in this country, but also abroad, is shrinking. Critics say we are urban elites and so can’t comment on rural problems, as if being urban is a crime. What they really want is that only powerless people in the village should protest, because they know such people can easily be crushed underfoot,” as reported by The Christian Science Monitor.

Vandana Shiva

Vandana is an Indian environmental activist and anti-globalization author. She has authored more than 20 books and was also trained as a physicist and received her Ph.D. in philosophy from the University of Western Ontario, Canada, in 1978 with the doctoral dissertation “Hidden variables and locality in quantum theory.”

Vandana is one of the leaders and board members of the International Forum on Globalization and a figure of the global solidarity movement known as the alter-globalization movement. She has argued for the wisdom of many conventional practices, as is evident from her interview in the book Vedic Ecology (by Ranchor Prime) that draws upon India’s Vedic heritage.  She is also a member of the scientific committee of the Fundacion IDEAS and the International Organization for a Participatory Society. Shiva was also awarded the Right Livelihood Award in 1993.

Aruna Roy

Aruna Roy is a political and social activist and founder of the Mazdoor Kisan Shakti Sangathana. She is best known as an outstanding leader of the Right to Information movement through National Campaign for People’s Right to Information, which led to the enactment of the Right to Information Act in 2005. She has also stayed as a member of the National Advisory Council.

Aruna in 2000 received the Ramon Magsaysay Award for Community Leadership, while in 2010 she received the prestigious Lal Bahadur Shastri National Award for Excellence in Public Administration, Academia and Management.

Roy most recently was in news talking about the MNREGA scheme. She said “The government says they want to end MNREGA (Mahatma Gandhi National Rural Employment Guarantee Act) as it is becoming a source of corruption. It is the officers who do corruption so why should the poor bear the brunt of it. We, therefore, demand that this APL-BPL divide should be dissolved and universal pension scheme be employed,” as reported by OutlookIndia.com.

Medha Patkar

Medha is an Indian social activist. She is well-known for her role in Narmada Bachao Andolan. She has also filed a public interest petition in the Bombay High Court against Lavasa together with other members of National Alliance of People’s Movements (NAPM), including Anna Hazare. She comes from a politically and socially active family as her father had actively fought in the Indian Independence Movement, while her mother was a member of Swadar, an organization setup to help and assist women suffering difficult circumstances arising out of financial, educational problems, etc.

Patkar was often known for her extreme views on growth of country and liberalization. Author Jacques Leslie devoted a third of his book, Deep Water: The Epic Struggle Over Dams, Displaced People, and the Environment, to a portrait of Patkar as she planned to drown herself in rising reservoir waters behind the Sardar Sarovar Dam, against whose construction she fought for two decades.

 

10 Women Friendly Industries of India

The modern day’s empowered women are on a mission to conquer the world and are giving stiff competition of men in every possible field. But unfortunately, not all the industries are female friendly and offer the same perks for greater work-life balance.

Here is a list of female-friendly industries that offers flexible working hours, good maternity policies, help with child care and most of all, healthy working environment, as listed by Ankita Shreeram on ItsMyascent.

#10. Education:

Teaching is a career that screams out for women’s touch. It is a line of work that is easy to get into and in addition offers utmost flexibility in terms of schedules. The demand for quality education and the subsequent rise in the number of schools and colleges across the world is bound to create new opportunities for women who aspire to utilize their time effectively.

#9. Sports:

Sports may seem like a dubious choice for many, but the fact is that, it is a highly lucrative career option that offers stardom and fame. With the emergence of youth icons such as Mary Kom or Saina Nehwal, and increased backing by Government, a large number of women definitely ought to be encouraged to take up this field as a viable career option.  

#8. Human Resource:

This industry has been traditionally dominated by women. The percentage of men working in this profession is very little, with most of them occupying the top notch positions, while the lower level is predominantly under the control of females.

HR is a profession that craves for the ability to understand the underlying issues, face the challenges, and respond to them rationally, that are traits most women are intrinsically born with. The ability to apply their inherent skills to take tough decisions and manage emotions can be an added bonus for women in this profession.

#7. Food & Hospitality:

This field provides an opportunity to unleash women’s touch and creative potential to the highest degree. It is a good career that offers a high degree of flexibility and autonomy, and in addition, does not require much investment.

Women’s inherent flair to establish constructive relationships with the customers and management capabilities can prove its worth in this line of work. 

#6. Health & Fitness:

This field is in fact the best line of work for the women. Opportunities in this field are plenty, especially in health related sectors such as beauty, physiology or fitness. Kindhearted, intuitive and people centric nature of women can be a big plus in this industry. Though the initial years can be quite challenging, the flexible and accommodative nature of this field makes it an ideal and the most desirable career option for women.

#5. Social Work:

Women are generally caring, loving and compassionate by nature, which makes them a perfect-fit for this profession. Here they get do a lot of service to the humanity, especially the underprivileged.

Over the past decade the number of women in this field has risen drastically and the rise is primarily attributed to the higher intensity of social service needs. This trend towards sharp employment growth is expected to continue in the coming years.

#4. Entrepreneurship:

Presently, an increasing number of women are turning to entrepreneurship in a pursuit for greater flexibility. Artistic entrepreneurship is currently the booming line of work for women that are offering autonomy and good income opportunities.

Women have a greater chance of being successful in this field due to the fact that most women have a strong academic background, tend to be neither pushy nor rude and most of all, have a strong drive for initiating activities.

#3. Fashion and Style:

Fashion and style has always been and shall continue to be the most desirable field for women.

This field demands artistic flair and creativity that comes naturally to most females. This is an ideal option for women, since it is something they generally enjoy and understand to minute details. Flexibility and work-life balance are other perks of this field, which most women are craving for.

#2. Public Relations and Marketing:

This is an ideal profession for women because they have a natural flair for keeping others happy. The work-life balance, huge pay packages and most of the autonomy make this the most sought after field by women in the job market.

#1. Media:

Media is a glamorous and promising field, especially for women. This field demands creativity, intelligence, good communication and most of all, the artistic flair, which most women are inherently born with. Huge pay packages and the added perks are some of the factors that are luring women into this field.

 

Ten Best Paid Jobs Without a Degree

In today’s competitive job market, finding a high-paying job is sometimes difficult, especially without a degree, but that doesn’t have to be the case. There are plenty of high-paying career choices that don’t require a degree. Many of those jobs, however, require experience.

1. 
   

   Air Traffic Controller

   • An air traffic controller does not have to have a degree and can still earn a six figure salary at a little over $100,000. Air traffic controllers are in charge of the safety of all vehicles (planes and otherwise) coming and going from an airport to ensure there are no collisions on the ground or in the air. While this job doesn’t require a degree, the difficult nature does require extensive experience.

   Funeral Director

   • Although it’s not the most glamorous job, and might seem a little grim, a funeral director earns nearly $100,000 annually and the job doesn’t require a degree. Funeral directors are in charge of helping the family of the recently deceased arrange funeral services. A funeral director is also the overseer of embalming, burial and even cremation services.

   Operations Manager

   • An operations manager makes, on average, $70,000 annually. An operations manager position is found in many types of businesses. Basically, the person in this position is responsible for ensuring that business is running smoothing, i.e. workforce and resources are working as they should and there are no backups or issues in the schedule. Examples include efficient production at a factory, cost control and a variety of other areas of business.

   Industrial Production Manager

   • The position of industrial production manager is similar to that of an operations manager, but this position is only in businesses where products are being made. The industrial production manager oversees production of goods and will try to determine new, less expensive and more efficient ways to get these goods manufactured. This person will also ensure that production is running smoothly and that any problems are quickly resolved. The average salary is around $70,000.

   Transportation Manager

   • A transportation manager is also similar to both the industrial production manager and the operations manager, but works at companies that provide public transportation, such as train companies or bus tour companies, as well as companies that transport goods from one manufacturer to stores for selling. A transportation manager may also work for local governments to manage city bus or metro transportation. The transportation manager ensures everything is running on time and may determine more efficient routes for transportation.

   Distribution Manager

   • A distribution manager works with the manufacturing companies to ensure the goods that are produced are getting where they need to go smoothly, on time and the most cost-efficient way as possible. The person in this position is also the top manager when it comes to customer complaints regarding delivery failures. A distribution manager makes around $68,000 annually.

   Computer Technical Support Specialist

   • A computer technical support specialist can work independently as a freelance consultant or for a company providing technical support to employees. Either way, the person in this position is in charge of setting up computer programs and solving any computer-related issues that may arise in an office or home environment. This person can make anywhere from $60,000 to $70,000 and may earn even more freelancing. Usually, people in this position don’t need a degree because they are self-taught in computers and have gained much experience.

   Police Manager/Detective

   • The position of police manager or detective doesn’t require a degree, although it does usually require you to graduate the police academy, which is rigorous in its own right. These positions are filled with police officers as they move up in rank. A police officer serves and protects individuals and to maintain the safety of citizens within their jurisdiction. The police academy will train you for various situations you may encounter as a police officer.

   Gaming Manager

   • A gaming manager doesn’t need a degree, but may need to acquire a license to work in a casino. A gaming manager’s duties range from cleaning slot machines to training dealers. The basic duty, though, is to watch over a certain area of the casino to ensure that customers are enjoying themselves, which will keep them at a table and gambling, and that the dealers are acting appropriately. Most casino managers start out as dealers themselves.

   Nuclear Power Reactor Manager

   • A nuclear power reactor manager ensures that the nuclear power reactors, which are the main power generators in a nuclear power plant, are working properly and helps senior managers fix any issues that arise. After more experience on the job, the manager will be licensed by the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, which would allow them to work on the machines hands-on themselves. At least one senior manager will be on duty with the nuclear power reactor manager at all times.

 

7 Innocent Gestures That Can Get You Killed Overseas

 

If you’ve ever had your penis cut off and/or been executed while on holiday, you’ll probably know that it’s easy to offend people from other cultures. Unless you learn the ways of the place you’re visiting, even the most well-meaning tourist can regularly find his oesophagus stuffed with burning goat. But surely just plain common sense and good manners will save you, right?Wrong.

Extend Your Hand, Palm Outward in Greece

What you think you are saying:
“Phew! That was a heck of a moussaka. I’d eat another portion, but I’m completely stuffed.”

What you are actually saying:
“Phew! That was a heck of a moussaka. I’d eat another portion, but I’m too busy rubbing handfuls of shit in your face.”

What the hell?
In Greece, the “hand out” gesture is known as the moutza, and it dates back to the time of the Byzantine Empire, when criminals would be paraded through the streets on horseback, their faces blackened to indicate their shame. If they were lucky, the blackening agent would merely be charcoal. If they were unlucky, it would be a substance much, much worse …

SHIT, is what we’re saying here. Their faces would be covered in SHIT.

If you really want to piss a Greek person off, you can go for the double moutza, which features both hands splayed above your head. However, this will also make you look like a backup dancer from Cats, so it’s your call.

Give the Thumbs-Up In The Middle East

What you think you are saying:
“Ayyyyy! I’m the fuckin’ Fonz!”

What you are actually saying:
“Ayyyyy! I’m going to jam my thumb in your anus!”

What the hell?
It’s not just the Middle East. This seemingly universal gesture is also hideously offensive in West Africa and South America, whose citizens would doubtless get really confused if they ever watched Ebert and Roeper. “This movie is great, Bill! So great that I’d like to anally rape it with my thumb!”

The thumbs-up sign has been confusing people for thousands of years. Contrary to Hollywood legend, Roman gladiators were not spared by a thumbs-up, but by a hidden thumb. If the origins of both gestures are linked, we can only assume this meant, “Do not kill the prisoner, he seems the perfect solution to the emperor’s arthritic finger.”

Finish Your Meal In Thailand / The Philippines / China

What you think you are saying:
“This is a delicious meal. I mean it. I’m not the kind of guy who would lie about something like this. In fact, your meal was so fucking fabulous that I am going to finish every last morsel and then lick the plate so bright that it reveals the face of God.”

What you are actually saying:
“You call yourself a host? I came here for a meal, not some Lilliputian hors d’oeuvre that wouldn’t satisfy a mouse after a sizable brunch. Look at me. No, in the eyes. You disgust me.”

What the hell?
It is always important that the host provides you with tasty food. However, in countries where steak in bleu cheese sauce costs approximately the same as a lung transplant, it is more important that the host provides you with enough food.

In China, if you finish every last bite of your meal, you are implying that you weren’t given enough. Therefore, even if the meal is the most sexually delicious thing that has ever slid down your throat, you should still leave one last morsel on the plate to stare up at you mournfully while you eye it with ill-concealed resentment.

That said, the Orient isn’t as uptight as this example suggests. In China it’s considered perfectly good manners to talk with your mouth full and to burp after your meal. Farting seems to vary according to the situation and your current company, so ask ahead of time. Lighting the fart is frowned upon in almost all provinces.

Say “Hi” to a Member of the Opposite Sex in Saudi Arabia

What you think you are saying:
“Hi Steve! How’s things? Fancy getting a decaf latte?”

What you are actually saying:
“Hi, Steve! How’s things? Fancy booking a hotel room so that I can do immoral sex acts on you in the name of Satan?”

What the hell?
According to sharia religious laws, it is deeply immoral for a woman to greet a man in public, or associate with any man other than her husband without an escort. In February 2008, one American woman openly conversed with a man in Starbucks, and was promptly arrested, strip-searched and forced to sign false confessions.

Though, perhaps this is nitpicking considering women are not allowed to drive, vote, own shops, testify in court or ride bicycles there. Bizarrely, it’s perfectly fine for women to fly high-powered jet planes, although they’re clearly fucked if they feel like taking a bicycle to the airport.

The point being, if you’re a woman and are planning a move to Saudi Arabia, offending them with the whole public greeting thing is probably the least of your problems.

Give an Even Number of Flowers in Russia

What you think you are saying:
“Darling, this week has been the most wonderful of my life. Since I first felt the sweet joy of your caress, I have truly come to know what it is to love and to be loved. Please accept these half-dozen roses as a symbol of my eternal tender devotion.” (Lean forward for kiss.)

What you are actually saying:
DEATH! DEATH! DEEEEEEAAAAAAAATH!!!!!!

(Lean forward for kiss.)

What the hell?
In Russia, even numbers of flowers are only ever given at funerals, and such a gift is seen as inviting death, which you obviously don’t want to do unless you’re banging a goth chick.

Choosing the right gift seems to be a minefield of morbidity everywhere you go. Never give a clock to a Chinese person, as the word “clock” is almost identical to a word for “death.” Don’t wrap your present in white paper there either, as this suggests funerals. And for God’s sake, don’t give anyone in Bangladesh white flowers or they will presumably be obliged to buy a spade and bury themselves while muttering at you reproachfully.

You know what, screw giving a gift. You may come across as a selfish douchebag, but at least no one will hail you as the fourth horseman of the apocalypse.

Give a Gift With Your Left Hand, Pretty Much Anywhere

What you think you are saying:
“Thank you very much for letting me marry your daughter. She is very beautiful. In gratitude, please accept this dainty, yet tuneful instrument. Did I mention that I’m left-handed?”

What you are actually saying:
“Thank you very much for letting me marry your daughter. She is the most worthless heap of dog vomit I have ever encountered, and I dearly wish that she would die. In gratitude, please accept a generous portion of my own effluence. Did I mention that I hate you?”

What the hell?
Toilet paper may have been around in China since 589 AD, but for much of the world, it remains a prohibitively expensive luxury. In places such as India, Sri Lanka, Africa and the whole of the Middle East, doing anything with your left hand is seen as unclean, as it is (as least symbolically) your ass-wiping hand.

Eating out? Don’t even think about using your left hand. It’s better to come across as some kind of retarded monkey child than to imply that you rate your host’s food on the same level as a lightly-steamed assburger.

Of course, poop is not the only reason left-handedness is bad. According to the Qur’an, Satan himself was a southpaw, which is why he was able to successfully fool the right-handed batter that is mankind.

Give the “OK” Sign in Brazil

What you think you are saying:
“Hi Brazil, I’m US President Richard Nixon, and I’m feeling terrific!”

What you are actually saying:
“Hi Brazil, I’m US President Richard Nixon, and I’m feeling that you should all go fuck yourselves!”

(Note: The above examples are only valid if you are US President Richard Nixon)

What the hell?
In Brazil, the “OK” gesture is roughly equivalent to the finger in the US, which means you should not use it when your hotel manager asks you how your room is, unless you want to tell him that it’s purple and velvety and recently molested his wife.

The most famous incident of a misapplied “OK” sign was, in fact, Nixon’s visit to Brazil in the ’50s. While alighting from the aircraft, he lifted both hands to the cameras and double-fingered the entire nation. Nixon went on to greet the Brazilian Prime minister with a savage kick to the testicles, and concluded his visit by urinating from the window of a moving limousine.

If you’re visiting Brazil, you should also never touch any food with your fingers. Even stuff like pizzas and burgers should be eaten with a knife and fork. Not that you’ll ever need to apply this knowledge, because after reading this article, you’d be insane if you ever travel abroad again.

By: Tim Cameron

Sri Lanka opposes UN screening of critical film

Sri Lankan diplomats are working to block a British-made documentary about the Asian country’s civil war from being shown on the sidelines of a United Nations human rights meeting this week, arguing that it is part of a concerted campaign by the defeated Tamil Tiger rebels to destabilize the peace.

In a letter obtained Monday by The Associated Press the island nation’s ambassador to the U.N. in Geneva said the film contained a narrative that was “discredited, uncorroborated and unsubstantiated.”

The letter sent Sunday by Sri Lankan ambassador Ravinatha Aryasinha to the head of the U.N. Human Rights Council, warns that the global body could be violating its own rules if the film is screened March 1 in Geneva at a meeting hosted by rights groups.

The 90-minute documentary, titled “No Fire Zone: The Killing Fields of Sri Lanka,” alleges government troops and Tamil Tiber rebels engaged in war crimes during the final stages of the conflict in 2009.

The film shows interviews with eyewitnesses and original footage of alleged atrocities against civilians including summary execution, sexual violence and torture. Its backers include the non-profit Pulitzer Center on Crisis Reporting and Britain’s Channel 4 television, which aired two previous documentaries on the Sri Lanka’s civil war.

“The timing and the venue of this screening clearly demonstrates that it is aimed at influencing the debate in the council on Sri Lanka,” Aryasinha said in the letter, citing the two previous films that were also shown during meetings of the Geneva-based rights body.

He said the film contained “morphed and diabolical” material aimed at undermining the process of reconciliation between Tamils and the nation’s ethnic Sinhalese majority.

The film’s director Callum Macrae acknowledged that the documentary’s release had been timed to coincide with one of the council’s three regular annual meetings, but denied that it distorted the facts.

“We believe that our film contains very important evidence about the terrible events in the last few months of this war and we believe we have a duty to make that evidence available to the diplomats and country missions at the U.N. Human Rights Council who must make important decisions about how to ensure accountability and justice in Sri Lanka,” Macrae said.

Earlier this month the U.N.’s top human rights official faulted Sri Lanka for failing to properly investigate reports of atrocities during the war and said government opponents continue to be killed and abducted.

The United States has said it will introduce a resolution at the meeting urging a full accounting of what happened at the end of the war. A U.N. report says tens of thousands of civilians were killed in the final five months of the fighting.

By FRANK JORDANS
Associated Press

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